Claire: “Tell me something I don’t know, darling.”

Candle: “For real. God damn, I seriously got proposed to last night. Ring and all. That guy was fucking GONE.”

Claire: “Jesus…You smashed, didn’t you? Did he have whisky dick?”

Candle: “I would never fuck a stallion that weak.”

Claire: “You’d hop on anything that moves.”

Honey: “Er…I appreciate the compliment. Thank you very much.”

Claire: “Uh…”

Candle: “Fuck we look like, your parents? Figure it out, guy.”

Claire: “Invest in floral print, A-line dresses if you’re a mare. Something lightweight, don’t worry about a low-cut neckline. It’s all about legs this summer. In the same vein, think about wedge sandals!

If you’re a stallion, try v-necks and board shorts! Also use a hint of jewelry (a masculine bracelet or a necklace!) And boat shoes.”

Claire: “Muffins are fatty. They’re filled with empty carbs and calories. How do you think that mailpony got so fat? It’s best for you to just cut them out of your diet.”

“What? Oh, Anthro ponies have wieners and bad-touch places and the whole nine yards. But show-style ponies (and this blog’s default style ponies) don’t.”

Hey guys this isn’t a pony but look! I finally made a kidsquid whatever the fuck

She doesn’t speak any English…But she’s pretty nice! Can you guess the species of squid she is?

(Don’t have a name for her yet)

Candlelight: “Anyone else think it’s weird how ponies don’t have any like, dongers or cooches or whatever? How do we have kids?“

((YOU GUYS ARE THIRSTY))

Commando Candlelight.

Candelight: “I already have plenty. Uh, thanks, though.”